A Mirror Dimly

It's been three months since my last update; a quarter of a year! I do believe time is relative; the older one becomes, the faster time flies. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was listening to Christmas carols and over indulging on the plethora of treats offered at the many Christmas parties I attended? Before I knew it, a new year was peaking it's head around the corner beckoning me to make resolutions and put my hope in a brand new and better year. I'm not really one for New Years Resolutions but, then again, there is the obligatory "lose five pounds and get in better shape"...I hate that resolution.
Now the first month of our brand new year is almost over, stores are gearing up for Valentine's day, and I am authoring a blog in order to avoid delving elbow deep into paperwork and preparing my taxes!

When a new year dawns, I am tempted to take stock in the previous year and declare, "Whew! Glad that's over; the new year certainly can't be worse. It has to be better!" It's as if I can throw away my Farmers Insurance calendar, scribbled with appointments, hang a new clean calendar with lovely pictures of Hawaii, and everything is new. I wish it were so. 2011 began with the death of a friend and a tragic shooting in my lovely home town. I find myself asking, "Why?"

I enjoyed my weekly walk/jog through Sabino Canyon this morning. It's more walk than jog, especially since I walk faster than I jog! I don't dare call it running, that would just simply be a lie. The canyon is like my cathedral; I marvel at the canyon walls that pen me in and the brackish water that sings to me as it flows freely down the canyon. I do three things while in the canyon: Get some exercise (think resolutions), Enjoy the warmth of the sun (good dose of Vitamin D), and I talk to God. Three birds-one stone so to speak. This morning, I was remembering the time when my kids were little and it seemed like everything they were told to do, or not do, required a justification by mom.

Why do I have to feed the animals this morning? They need to eat or they'll die.
Why can't I cut Barbie's hair? She's not real and it won't grow back and Ken will be dissapointed.
Why do I have to eat this green stuff? One word-Rickets. Here have a Flinstones vitamin.
Why can't I have a BB gun? You'll shoot your eye out.

When my oldest daughter was 10, she met a new girl in school, and they became friends. This little girl's parents were divorced and she lived with her father. We had the girl over to play several times, but I never let my daughter go to her house. The girl's father was always asking if my daughter could spend the night...really creepy. Needless to say, my daughter was persistent in her requests to stay the night with her friend, which I was not going to allow. "Why not?" she finally demanded. "Because I am your mother and I said so!" Now this may seem a cop out to some, but this is what my words meant.
"You are my precious and beautiful girl. I gave birth to you. For the past ten years I have nurtured and cared for you and I will continue to do so for as long as I live. You are but a child. Your childish mind can never know the mind of an adult. At your age you can not understand the mind of a parent. You don't know the evil that is out in the world that I want to shield you from. You'll learn it soon enough, when you are a parent it will be clearer. For now, just trust in my love for you and the knowledge that I know what's best."

So, as I continued down the canyon this morning, I found myself questioning God. There was the death of a dear man. His wife and kids are heartbroken...why? There was the shooting...why? A family's life is torn with the tragic loss of their daughter...why? I stomp my foot in defiance demanding to know why. His patient reply is, "because I am your God, and I said so."

When I was a child I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then, face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. I Corinthians 13:11,12